hello everyone, i am hanging in there, i didn't think i could ever start to get better, but i am after 10 years.  i am on disabilty and too soon to try and work, but i feel myself improving a little.  i still have suicide thoughts many times a day and can't sleep the night before i'm suppose to do something at a scheduled time, even just to have fun.  it probably doesn't sound good, but it is a huge improvement, at least i'm not trying to kill myself.  my last suicide attemp in 4 months, which is good for me.

wish me luck all, i have to beat this bipolar and try to enjoy life!