Thanks for adding me to your friend's list here. I have not been on here for awhile. I mostly go on facebook as
facebook.com/iris.springflower
Anyway, here is a safe place to share about my Bipolar Type 2 and PTSD as on general sites like Facebook, I notice sometimes others feel uncomfortable reading about the above.
I just added in my Facebook Profile that I will continue to share about "ALL" of me there, though. I have Type 2 Diabetes too and to me, Bipolar and Diabetes are the same, in the fact that there is no stigma in either illness.
I SUPPORT All of you here, by the way.Take Care All, Iris Yarngal
TODAY I FEEL LIKE POOP I STARTED TAKING MY MEDICINE AGAIN AND I STILL FEEL LIKE POOP!I HATE THE FACT THAT THERE IS ONLY MEDICINE AND NO CURE FOR THIS DISEASE .DOES ANYBODY KNOW IF THERE IS EVEN STUDY ON THAT AT ALL?ANYWAY ALOT OF MY FEELING LIKE POOP IS BECAUSE OF CHOICES THAT I HAVE MADE IN THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS REALLY MADE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF.PEOPLE SAY ITS BECAUSE OF BIPOLAR I SAY ITS CONVICTION AND WHAT WAS SO STRANGE ABOUT IT WAS THAT EVEN THOUGH I FELT BAD I KINDA FELT HAPPY THET I FELT BAD,DO YOU RECKON THATS CRAZY OR WHAT?
I really do not have anything to say. I didn't sleep that well and I feel depressed and that I just do not have the strength to fit in to this world.
I feel weak and insignificant.
Take care all.
They are also helping my sister and her bf with some DIY, as they have just put a conservatory in, and need shelves etc. I offered my help, but it wasn't needed. I'm hopeless at DIY anyway, so wouldn't have been much assistance. The company would have been nice though.
I have run out of Valium and antidepressants. I have no idea when I took extra fluoxetine, but I get I must have; they will not prescribe any more until next week. The leaflet advises to not stop taking them without speaking to a Dr, but I have no choice in the matter.
I see my shrink on Tuesday. I hope things go better than last time. Maybe he will remember me this time, and already know that I ended up in the general hospital twice, and the mental hospital (outpatient) once. If he doesn't remember I will sit there for 10 minutes whilst he reads my file. Then he will talk to me for 3 or 4 minutes.... and that's it! No chance to explain how I'm feeling. Very unsatisfactory. Perhaps I expect too much from an already underfunded sector of the NHS. At least the UK has the NHS, or I would be getting no treatment at all.
I finally had a decent nights sleep - from 21:00 to 05:15. I look and feel a lot better because of this. I don't think I had nightmares, but since I wasn't aware of any dreaming when I woke up, I do not know this for sure. The current medications I am on have stopped me lucid dreaming. I love lucid dreaming; it's like a computer game, but a million times more advanced. Virtual reality from 100's of years in the future!
I hope you are doing well today
Webb
Where I should start I dont even know? I have started pulling away from my family and numb myself to the loss. Telling myself it will hurt less this way. I have no hope and my thought process isn't as sharp as my tongue is to hurt the loved ones around me for nothing theyve done. So I isolate myself it lonely and I cant stand it, I sleep all day or just communicate on this lap top. I have no desire to do anything. To even get better when I say I feel guttrd inside I tryly mean that nothing I feel nothing, because after a while it was to much pain to hold I just told my mind to rmpty all thoughts and connections so they dont effect me. I need to be hypnotized its been over a year and nothing I m getting worse if anything and dont know what tio do, at this rate Ill be in the hospital if nothing changes.
DOES IT EVER FEEL LIKE PEOPLE MIGHT LISTEN BUT THEY ATE NOT HEARING WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.
Its Bonfire Night here in the UK. I haven't been over to the town bonfire in years, mainly because of my illness but also it is cold this time of year (I know I'm a wuss). Luckily the place it is held, and the fireworks display is just outside the back of my house so I can switch the lights off and open the curtains and just enjoy the display in the comfort of my own home. It is also something me and my Dad would sit watching out the upstairs window. The most unfortunate thing is the weather, its raining heavily and its very windy so the fireworks are drifting quite away across the sky and they are some what subdued by the rain.
As for me, well I woke up feeling really tense but it eased once I got up. For the last few hours I have been working on a CD playlist, I am trying to find my favourite 20 christmas songs and then put them in some kind of order.
I can here fireworks from the streets nearby, its quit a big night here and the last we have until christmas. If only Guy Fawkes had succeeded Britain might be a better place. If you are wondering what I am talking about go to wikipedia and type in Guy Fawkes, also if you have seen the movie V For Vendetta then you will have some idea.
Take care everyone. Much Love.
Having the right tools do a job or project is the first step in recovery. If I don't have a screwdriver, how it is possible to screw in a screw? If I don't have a ladder how can I change the lightbulb in the kitchen? You get the idea.
Recovery (Not recovered) from my illness needs the right tools to maintain a balance. If I don't take my meds then I will suffer greatly. If a hand is extended and I do not reach back, I'm alone.
The tools I use are quite simple, meds, excerise, eating right, sleeping enough, writing a journal, taking a break from my illness and taking the helping hand that's offered.
Another key tool is giving back unselfishly. I have to remember that I am not alone. My experiences are not unique unto me alone. Many travel the same paths.
People helping people is a fundemental philosophy of caring for others, empathy if you will. I cannot go through life alone. I need help alot of times. Sometimes the help is right in front of me other times I have to seek the answers.
My tool box doesn't have all the necessary tools but in time and through time I can acquire the right tools.
Keep your feet on the ground, the sun on your face and the wind at your back. Live, love, laugh, learn, listen, David
well today is a differant but the same ole day as usual.i am trying day by day to deal with things now that my whole life has done been turned upside down and ripped apart.i so know its a day by day process but its like i am just sitting and watching years of my life just go by and there is nothing i can do about it.i have lost my family my marriage have hurt my family and children my husband all because of a disease that i have completely no control over.medication doesen't seem to help.i relly miss my life i had.i so wish that i could have my mind back. i sometimes feel like i have nothing to offer anyone and if i do i am scared that i will do something wrong to mess it up.i really hate feeling like this.i really need a miracle.