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They really make this journal writing thing way too complicated. I have no clue if I am doing it right, who can see it, etc.... Why so many flippin choices? I have to make a decision to make a decision in the first place. So, whoever reads this, where ever it ends up have a ball!
I am having ECT tomorrow am. I have had more than sixty treatments now. First I had the regular series of treatments, and then since I was medication resistant I have continued to have monthly or less, maintenance treatments. I guess they have helped. I can say I aint ready to off myself at the moment. I am able to sit in the pdocs waiting area NOT curled up in the fetal position and crying. I guess that is progress somehow. The other stuff, I don't know if It will ever really change. I think I just have an attitude. One towards people. I don't like them. Or at least most of them. I prefer the company of my dog. She is very loyal, non-judgemental, and loves me unconditionally. That's as good as it gets.
I hope I am allowed to write BS here without getting in trouble. But, I am just so fed up with having BP and the other "disorders", diagnoses, illnesses or whatever. Just call me Crazy, cause that sums it all up. And that's what most ignorant people think when they hear that I have "mental health" issues. Automatically that makes us sub-human. We are no longer people, we ARE the disorder. People walk on eggshells like we are going to break into little pieces if they say something wrong. They talk about us like we aren't there, or all of a sudden we are not competent to be a part of their conversation or their little group.
F*** all of 'em. My family has completely abandoned me. They think I am just "weak" or using my illness for a crutch.... Like sure, I am 44 years old, used to be an RN am on SSDI because I enjoy the hell out of it. Thanks for all the support.
Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. By the way, I have bi-polar 1/mixed. Hard to tell huh?
I am new. I'm Iris. I have Bipolar Disorder Type 2 Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other anxiety disorders.
I have had the above since about age 14 and I will be 53 on July 18th.
I am interested in connecting with others for mutual support. Please read my profile for more information about me.
I support you here. Take Care All, Iris
Hi my name is Jennifer. I am 47 yrs old, married (19yrs in December), daughter 17, sons 15 & 10.
I have had Bi-Polar Disorder probably all my life! I was actually FINALLY diagnosed with it after having my first son well OVER 10 yrs now!
Up until 2 months ago, I was taking my medications regularly: Prozac 40mg + 20mg, Seroquel 25mg & Tegretol 100mg. The nurse who was SUPPOSED to mail in my Patient Assistance Program forms, to the pharmaceutical companies for the medications I am taking, NEVER mailed them in! PLUS in January I returned an OPEN 30 day bottle of Prozac 20mg which I still have yet to have REPLACED!
In addition, the Community Mental Health Ottawa County here in Holland Michigan, has decided to reassess all their patients Mental Health needs.
They have concluded that OVER 200 Mental Health patients DO NOT qualify for services! The ONLY ones that DO qualify must be on Medicaid/Medicare!
Needless to say, I am one of the 200 who no longer have access to Mental Health services! We have NO health insurance and NO extra money to pay for medications out of pocket!
I received a letter stating that my mental health services will been terminated effective June 10, 2009 YET I was scheduled for a MED REVIEW on June 2, 2009 where I wouldn't have ANY medications there to receive since they never mailed them in!!! Talk about stupid waste of MY time & TAX PAYERS money!!!
I did talk to the Director of CMHOC personally and HOPEFULLY he can get things straightened out & soon!!!
The instantaneous angry outbursts are getting out of control. Being without my medication, that I KNOW helps with this, is going to drive me & my family CRAZY!
Perserverence is the key. My problem is that I have absolutely NO patience in waiting for bureaucratic red tape. I want instant answers without having to wait for hearings & appeals.
Ahhhhhhh Oh well sooner or later everything works out!
JenniferSueM47
Holland MI
My name is grandmalynda (lynda) I joined this group today in the hopes of making friends I can be real with. I have lived with BP for almost 20 years and have since added a host of other features such as agoraphobia, PTSD, OCD and generalized anxiety disorder. My husband lost his job the end of Jan. so I have been without docs and meds since then. Thanks to crisis intervention I am starting to work towards getting some help again. In the mean time I need to be around others who can hear me. I also want to hear you and be available to help if I can.
I am currently on day 6 of a wild rapid cycling ride. Getting exhausted. I'm looking forward to meeting many of you. Ask anything you want and feel free to enlighten me.
Lynda
