Um.... wow. I'm new here. So i guess you just discuss whats happened recently. My name is Rin . I'm 13 years old. And i self harm myself. Yes you may think "Her life just begon why is she doing this?" Well.... My reasons are simple. As i've read some people have broken up with their boyfiends or Girlfiends, and have become so depressed they self harm themselves. Thats my same reason. I was dating a Guy named Bradley . We went out for 3 years. He was the "popular" kid in my school. And i was lucky to have him. Especially since my status was "Weirdo."
Well he was acting weird, over the summer. And i thought it was nothing. So i would call very little times just to make sure he was all right. but he would answer mad. "Uh....Hey Babe..... Um....Why are you calling me?" It hurt so much when he would say that. So i would lie and say "Um... i wanted to know would you like to go Star walking?" (you go at night and watch the stars.) And he would always say.... "No. Bye." He would just hang up. Especially since we dated for 3years!!!!
Then one day i went to the mall. And i found him with another girl. I knew the girl. She lives down the street from him.... then i thought... he's cheating on me.
I didnt talk to him or call him for 2 months.
He then broke up with me.... the worst way possible...
"I like someone else... and well.... bye."
That tore me to shreds. It burnt my heart into ashes. My heart was crushed into sand and then blown away. I was hurt.... It hurt so much.... that... i _____ . Its gone now. Its just a scar. And i've___ . Because of all our memories. Stupid right? Yeah i thought the same. I'll write more in my next journal.
Unfortunately, i'm rarely on this site so, if someone has a response, could you please msg it to me? or at least tell me you left one so that i know to come on here and read it? Nothing personal...i just don't have that much time.
So, here's my thing...coping with self-injury in college. i've asked my advisor many times about their policies about SI in college...she never got back to me. she probably doesn't know...bc si is such a specific thing--it doesn't always mean suicide. I don't really know what i'm asking here...just thought i should mention it. Colleges don't see it...well, many don't see it...self-injury is a huge problem that people are now finding out about bc of college students. that just amazes me. how could people not know? well, it probably scares them and it means that person isn't perfect and people like to sweep imperfection/s under the rug/s. whatelse is new?
ANYWAY, i haven't cut in over two months now. last semester i almost had to take a medical leave. it's sad...bc i'm only in community college now...and i'm like THIS. jeeezze-it'll be really interesting to see once i transfer to a four-year school. I really don't know how to cope as a college student without resorting to self-injury/cutting myself.
Someone I work with asked me today, "What's that on your arm?" I responded with, "unhealthy coping mechanism." She said, "Well at least it says something nice." (I had branded the words I LOVE YOU into my forearm about a month earlier and she was the lucky one to happen to notice.)
I don't know what happened really. I haven't burned myself since I was 17. My boyfriend was telling me that he hated me. He said that I was not his concern anymore and then he left.
I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't stop crying. I tried taking a shower, I tried walking my dog, I tried cleaning my house, I just couldn't get myself grounded. I even banged my head against the wall before I gave in and lit the candle. Then I felt calm; just like I used to when I would burn.
Now more than a month later, the scars are still bright. I am dealing with trying to hide my injuries once again. I feel so stupid and I can't seem to figure out why I always have injured my forearms and my forearms only. If I could pick a more discrete location on my body, it would not be so hard to hide. I feel like I am so immature burning myself. I'm 25 years old! When I was 12, 15, 16 it was okay. I was in pain, I was young and not so good at coping, but why now and why only on my forearms?
Does anyone else have a obsessive preference for a certain location on their body to injure? I think I am just pathetic.
