<SSNBLURB> The celebration of life and the adventure of Bipolar! Some triggers!</SSNBLURB>.

This is my tale of how life has been with the addition of Bipolar. I always felt different then others. I seemed more sensitive to things and had trouble sleeping at night. I think even as a child the Bipolar was a part of life. I had a lot of stress in school with a teacher who called me stupid day in and day out. I had trouble learning to read and no one took me seriously on that one. So i got spanked in school for what the teacher said was lying. There was sexual abuse then as well. At the same time I began seeing and hearing things that no one else seemed to. A lady who hummed and said the same thing night after night. Visions of things that would strike terror into me every single night. It wasn't till the divorce that I fell apart. My mother left and I became a mom to my two sisters. The stress of having that job, my parents talking trash about each other, my relatives trying to buy me to staying with a certain parent, school stuff, and other things was too much. I was ten when I had my first suicide attempt. It was hell after that. No one knew it was an attempt then they thought I was sick. It wasn't till years later that I got help. I took up Self Injury as a way to cope with all that pressure. They thought it was for attention. I was not allowed to be anything but a happy go lucky kid and that was something I was not. So it was not for another three years till I was dx'd with Bipolar. I was actually instrumental in that for I was unhappy with the medical professionals and started trying to figure it out myself. My pdoc then agreed after I mentioned that I thought I was Bipolar. So started the lithium which I unfornately cannot take. It kept me depressed all the time. That was in 1987. I have learned a lot, suffered much, been passionate, and now am finding that life with Bipolar isn't the end of the world. It colors how I see things perhaps but it isn't the entire view either. I have found what helps to keep it to a min. roar for me and though I still struggle some days it is not nearly as bad as it once was. I hope one day to inspire myself to even higher limits then I have already. I hope for many things.